Doing OK

I'm doing ok with staying pretty "on plan." Not perfect. But OK.

Last Thursday we met a family member for dinner at Famous Dave's. The guys had big plates of ribs but I ordered the salmon. I've had their salmon before and it is super yummy. We ordered the catfish tenders for an appetizer. We had never had catfish before so we were curious to try them. I only ate two of them and left the rest for the guys.

So not perfect. But OK.

The salmon is served on a bed of onion straws and comes with a cornbread muffin and a small piece of corn on the cob. It also comes with a choice of two sides. I chose the baked beans and the fries. Baked beans good. Fries bad. I know.

The kitchen forgot to include the corn on the cob on my plate but I did not complain. The fewers carbs put in front of me the better!.

I ate all of the salmon, about half of the onion straws (again, super yummy and hard to resist!), half of the fries (love their fries), a few bites of the baked beans (can't handle too much of those) and all of the corn muffin (LOVE those!). I also had an iced tea with one packet of Equal in it.

So not perfect. But OK.

I left a lot of food on my plate but did eat all of the salmon.

I can't remember everything I had on Friday but I did stick completely to Plan including abstaining from any of my husband's late night crackers and cheese snack that looked very good. I had a MF bar instead. Our dinner on Friday night was grilled turkey burgers (no bun) with low fat swiss cheese, roasted asparagus and big green salads.

My CD kicked up Friday night which can happen if I've had a week heavy on raw veggies. So Saturday I did go off plan and avoided raw veggies. Hubby was sick so after we took him to urgent care for some meds , he wanted hot & sour soup from our local Chinese restaurant.

I got several items from them for us to eat at home. Sizzling Beef & Scallops (over pan fried noodles) for me, an order of BBQ pork to share, an order of potstickers for him (I had two) and an order of fried wontons (really bad I know but I love them). I didn't overeat and there is still quite a bit left. It will be dinner tonight along with a big salad.

Cheese often helps calm down my CD so last night I had a snack of chedder, swiss and some veggies crisps. I also cheated with some candy corn.

So far today I'm on plan. A MF shake for breakfast, MF chili for lunch, and MF cinnamon sugar soy crisps for snack.

I'm down 4 pounds in one week so I feel good about that. Today at church I sat next to my MF coach (and good friend) and her husband. Although I wouldn't want her to know this as I wouldn't want to hurt her feelings, it is very hard to be around her at church.

She has had phenomenal success on MF and looks fabulous. When friends at church greet her, so many of them compliment her. Don't get me wrong. She totally deserves it. But standing next to her I just feel like this fat, ugly failure. Today one of our friends came over and hugged me hello. She then hugged my MF coach-friend and made the comment "hi Skinny."

Ouch.

I know. It's shallow. But this is my place where I can be completely honest how I am feeling with no fear of who I will hurt or how it will be construed.

It hurts to see her success and know my failures.

A lot.

But my struggles are my own and I have to take one day at a time.