...that's how I feel today and have felt for the past week.. just worthless. ugly. fat. slow. awkward. embarrassing. disgusting. lazy. incompetent.
So, yes I suppose I'm in the middle of a giant pity party. Free to stop reading at this point. I'll understand.
My plan, as stated in my previous post, to stay on Plan has not gone that well. But the first week of September, my husband made the jump back onto Medifast and we've been doing it together for the past few weeks. We took the weekend of Oktoberfest off to enjoy the festival but then we got right back on plan. So I've been eating good. Not 100% to plan but damn near to it. Calorie intake is way down. And I've been exercising on the treadmill almost everyday. Calorie outflow is way up. But the scale is not way down. Yes, it is down some. Almost 10 pounds in fact but apparently it's not down enough for anyone to notice.
And I suppose that is what has me feeling so down.... NO ONE has noticed. Not one word of encouragement from ANYONE. And I've let quite a few people in my life in on the big "secret" of me being on Medifast. I got a chastising comment from one person on a status update I put on my FB page in regards to being out to breakfast at one of our favorite restaurants during the weekend that we were off plan. So, yeah, that comment hurt and I immediately deleted it. But NO words of encouragement.
My husband has lost weight and I've commented to him that I notice it. But apparently it's not noticeable on me. Do you know what that makes me think? That I'm so hideously and grossly fat that it's going to take a LOT of weight lost before anyone notices anything. sigh.
And it's been another week of feeling like I can't please anyone when it comes to my clients, I've been working long, late nights trying to get caught up, I found out a good friend of mine has entered hospice and is in the last few days of his life, I'm in constant pain with my thumb, wrist, arm and shoulder...and, and, and.....
So, yes, I need to quit with the pity party, pull myself up straight and forge ahead. I know. And I will. But tonight I'm going to wallow for awhile.
